Just Some Things #8 : Rosie B-D.

This is the latest instalment in my feature Just Some Things!

In case you don't know, here's how it works...

I send a writer an individual email with a series of prompts from the '642 Things to Write About' book – chosen entirely at random – and then when I get the responses, I dedicate a post to them and their piece. It could be short, long, backwards, in another language, I don't mind. It'll be an adventure whatever happens! And they can use or ignore however many of the prompts they wish. 

(Image by Kayleigh Causton Illustration)

When published on the blog, their piece will be put in first and then I'll add in a little piece beneath it, my response to the same prompt. I will always ensure mine is shorter and less prominent, obviously. It's all about featuring my fave writers.

Today my guest writer is the delicious Rosie B-D; one of my many barista pals but this gal is particularly special as she loves books AND cats just as much as me. She is a newbie book blogger, too! 

Her prompt was: The secret that, if revealed, could change everything... 

It sits heavily in the depths of my stomach. Dragging me down, down. Oh, the weight of the world is crushing upon my shoulders, an attempt to bury me in the cold damp earth.

Do you know how small I have become? How I plead with the universe to let me disappear? To solely wish to become only but a memory in the vast blackness of nothing; be at peace with myself...?

I wish, so desperately, to take it all away; to cleanse my body, my mind. How I beg to turn back time and right my wrongs to save myself from this inevitable punishment.

I walk along the crowded corridor. Everyone is rushing by me. They think of classes they need to get to, excuses they need for homework that was never completed. They cannot see me, no one does. I’m trying to focus, to see some hope, to feel some strength inside me that can solve this. My feet do their best to move me forward, one step at a time, but I feel that I am only going backwards. There is nowhere where I will be safe; no one that would understand what I have done and what will happen. The sadness rips through me like a hot, burning knife.

No words can be uttered through my trembling lips. I clamp my mouth shut as if they had be sewn together; surpassing the urge to rip them apart, through all the pain and anxiety. I wish more than anything to be free; to fly away and never look back. To feel that cool breeze caress my body, to become carefree.

But freedom comes at a price.

If I spoke the words that angrily travel around and around in my mind, oh everything would be ruined. I could not bear it. The sadness that I would cause would be unthinkable. The anger, the guilt, the pain that I would have caused…

I would have no one to turn to, no one to depend upon. I will be alone, more alone than ever.

It’s entirely my fault. I am to blame. There’s nothing I can do but shut my eyes and will this to disappear. For me to disappear.

My secret grows inside of me; each day it grows bigger and stronger. I do not know if I have the will the contain it; to hold myself together and be brave.

I count day the days, the months. I watch the hands of clock tick, tick tick. My skin crawls and I feel the hopelessness.

Rosie's blog : Twitter : Instagram

And here is my response to the same prompt...

   My name is Sid. I'm your average fellow, tall and dark and arguably handsome, and I frequently commute into London for writing gigs, some magnificent theatre experiences and of course the occasional shmoozing session over cocktails...oh yes, I am quite normal, if slightly classier than most perhaps. 
   But of course, I am not without my dark past and closely-guarded secrets. One secret in particular I feel would blow minds and induce shrieks, were it to come out of the bag...shall I tell you? Fine, I will indulge the masses of eager readers. But you cannot tell anyone else, understood? 
   Good. Now, wait for it...

   I am actually, quite secretly, a cat. Yes, I know, shocking right?! I'll give you a moment to calm down and correct yourselves. I need to clean my left leg anyway. 

   I know, I know, how did I manage to keep this from you? To deceive so many?! Well my disguise is excellent; a floor-length trench coat, five-fingered gloves stuck on my paws, a fedora pulled down over my ears and obscuring my particularly fluffy brow...I could fool anyone. 
   I am flawless, I think to myself, as I walk upright through Waterloo station at 8:31am, nobody would know. 
   I have mastered human language, through a series of awkward grunts and stutters when really I am tempted to mew loudly. I now ace social interactions and keep my hands (paws) to myself when I am really fighting the red hot urge to knock a person's drink off the table or nudge their face with mine over and over again and oh, that would feel so good............but I must resist. I am human meow. I mean...now. Shh, my friends. Tell no-one. Nobody can know. 

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If you'd like to be involved in one of these Just Some Things posts, email me at [email protected].