It's not a rom-com.

The thing that annoyed me most about the film 'Materialists' wasn't the fact that it was NOT the quippy-hilarious-saucy 'will they/won't they/him or him' story we were led to believe by the trailer, nor was it the way Dakota Johnson rigidly delivered a ridiculous and cold pseudo-self-deprecating monologue over a luxurious dinner about why Pedro Pascal shouldn't be interested in her because he could get a younger, better match on the 'market' as a rich (my god they said the word 'rich' SO MUCH) stylish and charismatic man, nor was it the tragic mistake they made of casting beautiful, squeaky-clean Chris Evans as a broke wannabe actor in a shitty apartment with messy hair and a dark streak of humour that masks a golden heart (c'mon, his era doing that should have ended in 2011 after the tragic problematic 'What's Your Number?'). 

(the second chic restaurant)

No. It was the fact that on what I presume to have been their second date - because it was the second shot in a short montage of the two beautiful people sitting in chic dining rooms with full glasses and endlessly curious eyes for each other - Dakota (Lucy) asked Pedro (Harry) how he 'got into' what he did for a living. What!? I appreciate that that's a boring question and I low key loathe how it's often the first thing people think to ask when they meet a person, but I can't fully believe that their respective career paths weren't covered in the first date - especially given how important their incomes and lifestyles seem to be in the 'maths'. 

Oh and also, the film was not appropriately flagged for triggering content. So let me do that now - the story contains an incident of SA (involving a secondary character, none of the leads). And while I was relieved that it wasn't a side note or small hurdle in the plot, in fact it threw our pretty protagonist into a hole of shock, sadness and self-reflection (as it should) while also showing how dismissive some people can be, it should have been disclaimed from the get go. When the 15 rating page appeared, simply saying 'contains mild language and s*x references', I didn't feel clued in. So, beware. 

Overall opinion - Pedro was the highlight, but also, he can do better things. 

And yes, I signed up for a Rotten Tomatoes account purely to share this review more widely. 

Thanks for reading.

G. x