31 Days Grace: May 2017.

May happened. And guys...I actually did some things!!!

After April, a month that began with hellish pain and ended in utter debilitation, it's been nice to actually feel a bit more human recently. I'm not quite 100% still, but I'm getting there. This month has been spent healing and...being. Not pressuring myself. 

EDIT: It all went to shit. Read on and find out more...if you dare. 

My new favourite things this month were... 

- I finally visited the Jerwood Art Gallery on Hastings seafront. The place celebrated its fifth birthday in March, and I am so happy it's been so well loved already in its short life. I see adverts for the place quite a lot in London, which always makes me squeal! 
Mama and I saw the zany Keith Tyson 'Turn Back Now' exhibition, stopping for a coffee between rooms. It was all very snazzy and vibrant, oh yes. But to be quite honest, I was most excited to see my gal Emma M working there. Her smile saves lives. Someday her art will be featured at that gallery, I bet you! 

- After I finally started watching 'Ru Paul's Drag Race' one day with mama over lunch, I realised just why everyone I know had been telling me to watch it. Holy fish, it's delicious and wicked and I love it. 

And the exciting bad news this month was... 

- I can fly! The surgeon said so!  Lol no, I ruined the family holiday to Australia. Oh well, postpone 'til Christmas, right? 

- I can drive! My GP said so!  

- I recovered from surgery on my intestines I had a second lot of surgery on my intestines.

Oh no wait, one cool thing did happen! 

- I chaired a panel. For the first time, ever. It went pretty well...considering I was admitted to hospital later that night. Yes, I was ill - but nothing could have stopped me going to that event. Authors Katherine Rundell and Sita Brahmachari sat with Louise Johns Shepherd, Chief Exec of CLPE, to discuss the role of authors in teaching children about world politics through their work. 
Thank you so much to The Children's Book Circle for having me, and for making it happen without a hitch! 

I bought 0 books. Shameful, I know. But I got through quite a few books I already owned this month in the end, as I was of course confined to a damn hospital bed for a big chunk of it. Luckily, books such as Katherine Rundell's 'The Wolf Wilder' and Lauren James' 'The Loneliest Girl in the Universe' got me through it by whisking me away to other worlds and other times... 

As per, I also received some incredible new reads in the post. I feel like I don't say enough just how happy it makes me to hear that telltale thud on the door mat, or when I have to answer the door to the happy postie who'll always chuckle 'more books for Grace!' Thank you, my publisher friends. You rock my world, and have been my saviours this past month as I've been house bound and bored. 

I drank 16 cups of coffee. My consumption was low again this month due to illness. God, that makes me sad to type. I feel like a failure. Is it bad that I'm worried my year total of cups will now be misrepresentative of me as a coffee guzzling lunatic? 

My favourite cuppa was one of my last before my second lot of surgery - the first one in a while that I'd enjoyed, rather than just had because I felt I oughtta. The cat joined me for it. 

Yes, it's been another rough month. Recovery, recovery, slow healing, feeling okay, sudden sickness, continued pain, surgery, back to square 1. It's been hard to keep my spirits up, y'all. 

But one of my happiest moments in May had to be, funnily enough, the day before I was readmitted to hospital (vomiting non-stop and screaming in pain at 2am), when I celebrated 2 years since my 2nd brain operation in 2015. I was so happy that I ventured into town, used a fully stamped loyalty card to get my coffee, but not before I asked little sis to take a photo of me in front of a wall covered in smiley stickers. Naturally. 

We gotta find the light, always. Always look for the positives. It wasn't easy last week, after 3 days already on the ward with a thick plastic tube stuck up my nose that went down into my stomach, when the consultants told me they had to operate again...but I got there. Well, I'm getting there. I'm home now, still in constant pain, still crying several times a day, but I do see brightness in the distance. Hopefully next month will be totally void of drama and depression. We'll see. Bear with me.