My best dates.

Due to a recent tweet I posted concerning a moronic ex – wow, I haven't done that in a while – I found myself reflecting on dates. This particular ex doesn't really count as an ex, actually; we only went on the one date, and that was more than enough. I remember regaling my girlfriends the following morning with the disastrous tale involving O'Neills (worst first date location? I'd say so), lime and lager (for him, not me – his company eventually drove me to neat scotch) and karaoke (don't even). All my friends felt sorry for me, especially considering I'd fancied this guy for a while. We all had, in fact. We'd referred to him as 'Arms', the hot guy who could sing. He was a fantasy – and after that night in O'Neills, the daydreams about his arms had to end. 

At the time, I actually rolled my eyes at the sympathy from friends, saying 'I've had worse, and I'll have better. If nothing else, this will be a good story someday!'

And guess what? It is.

And also, I have had better dates since then. Some of which were so good, I decided to write about them right here, right now! (along with some from before then...) 

2010. My first ever actual real life boyfriend took me to the fanciest restaurant in our home town for Valentine's Day. I had protested at first as it was a pricey place, due to everything being 'super organic' and locally grown or killed...but he responded 'fuck it, it's only once a year!' So we, two naïve sixteen year-olds, went for a properly mature dinner date. I arrived at the restaurant to find a pot of red roses awaiting me on our reserved table. We were told the boyf's big sis had put money behind the bar for our drinks. What a perfect First Proper Date, I remember thinking, as I was presented with my starter - steaming broccoli and stilton soup.

2011. Okay fine, this wasn't a date as such, it was a day out with a friend...who I happened to really super-intense fancy, at the time. Shhh. It was one of those days when we'd agreed to hang out, but hadn't actually made a plan. So we Googled fun days out when he got in my car and weighed up options – then I smacked my hand on the wheel and shrieked 'The enchanted forest!'

We went to Groombridge Enchanted Forest, a 50 min drive away. We wandered among the whispering trees, watched young deer run through the fields, meditated in teepees by the river and jumped on giant swings that flew over the steepest hills. 10/10, would do again on an actual date.

2012. My first year FWB – that one I was stupidly infatuated with – got himself tickets to see Walk off the Earth live with HMV points (wow, those cards probably mean nothing now!?). I expressed my envy, and he replied 'well I thought I'd take a date...' my heart began to sink, but then... 'so...wanna come?'

That night I got to see Walk off the Earth not just on stage, but in person after the gig. I hugged Gianni 'Luminati' Nicassio. Beard Man and I threw each other peace signs. Nobody can take that away from me – not even the twat I went to the gig with. 

2012. A Morning After. I insisted the charming bartender who'd won me over the night before take me for coffee in town, rather than me politely shuffle out of his flat on a glorious sunny morning when he didn't have work or any other commitments to stop him hanging out with me. No excuses. Over coffee, he opened up a bit about his distant family and deepest fears – and I felt like I'd unlocked another level and got closer to being Something More...
(Spoiler: I wasn't. Lol.)

2013. I took this totally lovely guy I'd been seeing out for lunch, as it was his birthday. We went to the local slightly-trashy neon-lit American diner, and we'd been sat opposite each other for maybe 20 minutes when I got nervous and abruptly scurried off to the loo. I composed myself in front of the mirror, reading the lipsticked messages saying 'you look FAB, honey!' and eventually returned to the table to find the food had been served, and Lovely Guy was waiting for me to tuck in. That was when I felt so filled with excitement and contentment that I told him I would like to accept his recent request for me to be his official girlfriend.

2015. Me and the aforementioned Lovely Guy went to the aquarium in Brighton, while we were staying in the city for a couple of days (in what's been dubbed 'one of the most gay hotels', which was pretty magical). I was worried the school kids on a day trip rushing around squealing would ruin the date – but I was able to tune them out, and tbh I squealed a whole lot at some of the specimens to be seen.

Yes, you may notice from these cute date recollections...that I haven't dated in a long, long time. In fact, I believe I've gone on two 'dates' in the past year, one of which I later realised wasn't even a date. Well it must not have been, as I didn't hear much more from the guy afterwards... *sigh* 

I just don't seem to get many dates, these days. I know I'm only 23, and I have 'years of fun' ahead of me (so says mama's drunk friend), and really I'm 100% alright on my own, I've always been independent and hated the idea of being '1 of 2'...but I just fancy cute dates, sometimes. So if anyone has any tips on how to get those...