'I'm not that girl'

I've never had one of those relationships where you spend what seems like every waking hour together, stay round each others' houses every night and write cute messages on each other's Facebook pages. Am I missing out?

My best friend has a boyfriend who practically lives with her; she goes home from college and he's already in her bed watching her TV and eating her food. She keeps hair products and clothes for him in her dresser drawer, sometimes on the way home from college she'd pick up some custard tarts for him at Sainsbury's and she doodles his name in hearts in her notebook.

I was never, ever that girl. My ex (you're probably sick of hearing about him, but I'm making a point here) had to bribe me with After Eights to get me to change my Facebook status to "in a relationship". I would only see him once or twice a week, I never wrote anything cute on his Facebook, and I made him keep public displays of affection to an absolute minimum. If he kissed me at the cinema I'd only let it last a few seconds, because I didn't want to miss any of the film. I once said we couldn't have sex because my cat was asleep on my bed. 

My friends used to ask me: "are you sure you're actually in a relationship with this boy?!"

To tell the truth, I think I was more affectionate with my girl friends at college... And my best guy friend. I used to sit on his lap - something I refused to do with the ex. I would happily kiss him on the cheek during lessons and he'd put his arm around me when we were sitting with our friends. I'm not sure if this was just about that particular guy (he was pretty damn special) or if I'm just a bad girlfriend. For some people, the only way to be in a relationship (or be in love) is to have pet names, spend every night together and talk about getting married someday. 

It's just not me. 


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