3 weeks totally tuneless.

Three weeks ago, I lost my iPod. I had lost my iPod. My iPod was lost. 

As in, I got home after a night away and a day in London, I unloaded my stuff on my bed, and abruptly screeched in horror when my little purple Nano did not appear in any of my bags or pockets. My reaction shocked me, actually. I didn’t even shout ‘SHIT!’ like you (and I) would have expected me to. Instead I broke down and sobbed, immediately. I cried like an absolute baby. A baby left stranded in the city in the middle of the night with no way of reaching mama or papa and no music to keep it company... 

The first thing I did, and I am not proud of this, was run downstairs to dad and cry all over him, embarrassing myself by how much I was freaking out but not really caring.
We sat down and I ran through all my activity and locations in the past two days - home, station, train, station, Morrisons toilets, work, train, station, train, shopping centre, cafe, car, cheap hotel, shopping centre, cafe, train, London…! So many places, so many spots to lose items. I’d been losing items a lot, actually, in the week preceding this meltdown, and I’d been told that was most likely because I was muddled in the head with all my busyness and personal problems...yes, that was very very likely. But each of the previous lost things had been just little bits and bobs here and there - my Oyster card, a letter, a hat...nothing quite as valuable as my iPod. My gorgeous purple diddy - with the perfect supple Sennheiser plug headphones! Shit. 

My key fear was that I’d left it on a train. The last time I remembered actually listening to it was on the first day of the two, on my way in to visit my workplace and colleagues. I always check my seat and the floor beneath/around it when I get off a train, though. And the shelf above the seat, too - after one too many forgotten umbrellas and scarves...so I’m thorough in checking before disembarking, these days. I wouldn’t have missed the little iPod on the floor. And it definitely didn’t fall between the train and the tracks at any point. Could I have left it in the toilets when I dashed into Morrisons for a quick pee? If that were the case, it would be long gone...some lucky kid would have pocketed it. Because people suck.

At this point I cried even more thinking about someone picking up my iPod and deciding to keep it, or give it to a pal as a present. That made my heart hurt. Why are people so awful? I could never do that. I’d go mad with guilt and sadness for the person who lost it...whenever we get lost property at work, we’ll joke about selling it on if it’s not claimed within a few weeks, but secretly I could never do that for real. 

Happy ending time: the iPod was located at one of the cafes. An employee had found it - during the Barista of the Year competition we were all attending - and locked it in their safe. It was in a safe. It was...safe. All good. The following morning when I was told this over the phone (very casually, them just taking my word for it that it was mine and I needed it back…!) I happy-cried. My chest released. Thank goodness.

My area manager agreed to pick it up and bring it to my store when he was next able, which was a major help.

It did mean I’d have to live without it for a few days, though. Oh. 

The prospect of living - journeying, chillaxing, strolling - without my iPod for a week or two was a little...odd. Not frightening, I mean I’m not addicted to music like some (sadly, I’m very boring in my tastes tbh) and luckily I don’t require my iPod to fall asleep at night (I weaned myself off that when I was a teen). I just didn’t like the idea of not having it. It was unsettling. When my area manager texted to say he’d grabbed it and it was being kept in his car, that was nice. It means I know where it is, at least. But yeah. Still not a 100% pleasant feeling.

I knew I’d miss the tunes a fair bit, though. When I walk into town, when I’m hopping on and off the Tube, and most of all - when I’m on a train. An actual long-distance train.

I don’t listen to music on my phone, either. And I couldn’t - my headphones were with my iPod!

My only option was...reading.

What a tragic shame, right? Wrong! Well, kinda.

See the thing is, I adore reading, y’all know I do, but sometimes you just gotta zone out, stare out the window and let the music take you away. Being a book blogger, though, means I have a long TBR list and strict deadlines on when to read what, so when I’m 5 mins away from London and just want some chill time with the iPod, I feel so immensely guilty plugging in and putting the book away. I shouldn’t, but I do. Any of my other bookish peeps feel me on this one? I hope it’s not just me.

Now, I reckon everyone’s expecting me to say ‘living without a music device for the past few days has been so excellent, so magical, I’ve actually been aware of and taken pleasure in the world around me, it’s been a life-changing growing experience…’ nope. None of that. I have found it different, don’t get me wrong, but not necessarily enlightening. I’ve enjoyed the Tube journeys, hearing all the tannoy announcements and babbling between commuters; also the walking places and hearing as well as feeling the rush of air around me...I’ve missed putting the soft sound-deadening ear buds in when reading on a train, to silence all the noisy idiots around me and let me focus on my book. I’ve missed Dallas, and Joshua, and Newton, and Carole.

I think when I get my iPod back, hopefully soon, I’ll treat myself to one long guilt-free train journey staring out the window at the passing buildings or fields and listening to the cheesiest loveliest music.