Being me, and being a blogger.

Recently, I've read a couple of posts from my favourite bloggers (will link below) about losses of identity, feelings that their obsession with image is overpowering their personal goals and the need to be their true selves; not some magical - and hopefully enviable  - manufactured being who comes perfectly packaged, wears all the latest fashion (and all items of clothing have been personally delivered by the major brands) and is flown here and there and everywhere at a moment's notice, and smiles sweetly through many filters...when really, most of us bloggers are working a soul-crushing 9-5 every day before rushing home to spend all evening sprawled on sofas, attached to our laptops, pouring our hearts out into the internet for all to see. 

I get that. I get that all too well, and far too much. 

(Photo: Erin Veness)

I will say what I’ve said for years now, and I won’t bore you with the full story (as I do students when I guest lecture on blogging and social media) – I blog to get things out. Have done for over 7 years now. I write my whole life, single spaced, Cambria size 14, and I publish bits of it over and over again; I let people look and I love being read. Sure, I often obsess over my stats, and slap myself on the back when I surpass my previous record number of unique visits; I plan and draft things sometimes weeks before I post them, schedule in photo-taking time if need be and try to work out what to write in tweets when I share links...but that never feels like any effort, weirdly. It’s not work. It’s no stress. It’s just me creating, and sharing what I make with people. 

(Photo: Erin Veness)

I’ll always be cautious about working with brands. I’ll never compromise myself or my values, or expend an unhealthy amount of energy on anything I’m not passionate about. I’ll write about my life, and books, and sex, until I can write no more. I’ll also sometimes write about the theatre; about coffee and veganism and travels and – maybe – work. And I’m afraid I will continue to write about my health now and again. If that’s what you’re into, any of those things or just me as a human, then keep reading. If you’re expecting something...
more? Something more polished, more finely tuned and fabulous – then off you trot. I’m not changing any time soon.  

(Photo: Erin Veness)

Here are the posts I read, that made me think awhile and then write this one: 


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