Things That Have Made Me **Feel Things** in Isolation.

I accidentally made myself a very depressing regular tweet template, early in my isolation. (I’m not saying I invented it, bloody hell, it’s not the most original idea is it?

The things that made me cry today’ series seems to be very popular, when I post my little lists in the evenings. And I’m really hoping that when we are finally coming out the other side, I can look back and recall some of them somewhat fondly…?

And I thought the other day, why not take all of these sad instances and feelings and throw them all into a blog post, y’know, to really hammer home how lonely and sad my life is right now?

Photo: Erin Veness

So, here are the things that have made me cry (so far) in these past 4 weeks (!) of solo isolation: 

Sandi Toksvig saying ‘one in two of us will get cancer’ on the SU2C Bake Off celebrity special. (I remember when they used to say ‘one in three’, on the TV ads when I was growing up. Fuck.)

Saying to my friend who makes vegan doughnuts that I would order a batch, but I have nobody to share them with right now.

When mama told me she’s getting bread delivered to me by a local lady. (St Leonards sourdough, check her out!)

Boyfriend saying ‘I love you’ over the phone.

An NHS text giving me tips on how to ‘take care of myself’.

Feeling completely and utterly alone.

The NHS applause in my street — and my neighbour shouting up to me during it, asking if I was okay.

When I spent hours making an order with ASDA, only to then have a glitch in my Chrome browser and lose my slot.

When Radio 2 had the audacity to play Whitney’s ‘I Will Always Love You’.

During my virtual yoga class, because my body just needs a bloody good long walk.

When Netflix wouldn’t work because too many people were using it (which conjured up images of my boyfriend and family happily sitting in front of their TVs).

When I heard the ‘Friends’ theme song through my neighbours’ window (because they were also washing up in their kitchen, and this struck me; it’s a cute little evening in together, that I’d love more than anything with a friend, or my partner).

When I couldn’t quite get a pose right in my virtual yoga class.

When I realised I’d broken a 6-day streak of not crying. 


Smashing my precious glass keep up when I knocked it off the table onto the RUG (??!) on my living room floor, because I’d just bought it and couldn’t just go and buy a new one. (update on this: Joco have confirmed they're sending me a new one, after I complained to them politely via email)

When I was watching a Netflix film and it cut to a scene in a hospital, and I heard the background sounds; a symphony of beeps, clicks and trolleys wheeling around, it was SPOT ON and immediately took me back somewhere very dark. 

Every time the parents have visited me (from a distance) and I've had to watch them drive away, waving. 

... I soon realised this was a very depressing routine I'd developed on my social media. 

Photo: Erin Veness

So, here are some of the things that have made me smile in isolation...

The time my virtual yoga classmate's cat wouldn't leave her alone throughout the lesson; he was curling around her legs while she did standing forward fold, sitting underneath her belly as she leaned back into downward dog, and sat happily in her lap while we did some body twists and neck exercises. 

Having a hummus and nachos picnic in the sunshine, on my lovely rooftop. 

The first time I peered over the edge of the roof and saw Fidget the fox, sleeping in the bushes beneath me - and I've smiled every time I've seen him since then. (follow me on Twitter for more updates. I am borderline obsessed.)

Reading a lovely book. Seriously, this horrid time is actually proving really good for getting through my enormous TBR pile. 

Checking my Tamagotchi's health and seeing it say HAPPY with 4x black hearts (although he's been abducted by aliens now, and seems to be in that rebirth wriggly egg state permanently. Any tips for that?)

Pooping. No, seriously. It's a big deal. My buggered-up bowels hate me staying still; they rely on me going for a good long seafront walk, or else they put a firm stopper in things and sulk and stew. Yoga helps, thank goodness. That, and copious amounts of kale, coffee and lentils. (not all at once)

Parcels turning up around 2pm (my local Prime delivery slot, apparently) almost every day, from kind friends who have bought me something on my Amazon wish list. I appreciate it so much, especially since I started putting essentials on there (like water filters and supplements) that I can't afford right now. 

Every time I cook myself something new. I'm really trying to branch out and be more daring with what I make myself for dinner/lunch, rather than just the same old pasta dishes and toast. 

Every time the parents have come by to deliver me laundry, or the odd bit of food, OR just have a chat. 

I hope this terrible time ends soon, but I'm making the best of it. How are you doing?


  1. Grace I only know of you through Emma but I love reading your posts. You may feel alone but there are so many people wishing you well. I used to say to her that old saying 'Keep your face towards the sun and the shadows will fall behind you', soon this will be just a blip on the horizon �� and if you're after a good read try wild swans Jung chang. All time favourite book to get stuck into while you have the time. Xxx

    1. Thank you so much, May. This is so lovely, I'll try and find that book! xx


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