WooWoo Lockdown Questions!

The lovely gang at WooWoo sent me some questions via email recently, to be answered in a video, but in all honesty I’ve been doing a lot of videos for various platforms lately and I felt like doing a good old-fashioned written interview… with myself?! 

Before we get deep here (ooh err) please check out WooWoo’s brilliant range of not just condoms, lube etc. but also their gentle creams and cleansers for those of us with vaginas. 

Okay, here we go.

Starting with the lockdown Qs…

  • What’s your lockdown guilty pleasure? 

My daily live boogies to the ultimate cheese tunes on Instagram, and Tyrrell’s sweet chilli and red pepper crisps*. 

*I am NOT concerned about how much I’m eating, I’m just so addicted to these particular crisps I am ordering at least two ‘sharing’ bags every week.

  • What are you currently binge-watching?

I have got through quite a few series since lockdown started (‘Friends’ brings me comfort while also being perfect for background noise, ‘Drag Race’ was a good Saturday night treat viewing via Houseparty with my pals, ‘Queer Eye’ is good for a lunch-time happy-cry) but my favourites are probably ‘Doctor Who’ (the best escapism, rewatching from Chris E’s era; I’d forgotten how much I fancied David Tennant in his Doctor days) and ‘The Vicar of Dibley’ (a cute pre-bedtime vibe; Dawn French is my queen). 

  • Top tips for surviving isolation?

Keep in touch with your friends, treat yourself to something every day if you need to (whether that’s adding another sharing bag of Tyrrell’s crisps to your weekly shop, or enrolling in a life coaching course, or finally buying that hunky crystal ring you’ve had your eye on for months, OR just going to sit on your doorstep in the sun with a coffee, and leaving your phone inside), and remember we are all in different boats, but going through the same storm. It will get better. All we can do now is stay home, and rest.

  • Are you online dating/quarantining with a partner/how are you handling it?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year, but I didn’t let him isolate with me because originally I was advised by the NHS not to go out AT ALL, and I didn’t want him, a perfectly normal and healthy human, to have to adhere to those restrictive rules too. 

  • What’s the first restaurant you’ll go to on a date, post-lockdown?

Ever since they opened, I’ve wanted to try out Morelli’s, a new family-run pizza place in Hastings Old Town. I regret never popping in for lunch when I was working in the West Hill Arcade! So I’ll drag boyf there first, I think. 

  • Which celeb would you most like to isolate with?

Taylor Swift for the cute heart-to-hearts and cat cuddles, or Lizzo for the badass yet kind energy, and daily boogies (oh my god, imagine a live stream with her every day!?). 

  • How many times have you baked banana bread? 

Not at all, shockingly! Which is sad, because that is the one thing I can actually bake pretty well. 

  • Any podcast recommendations?

The Scrubs re-watch show with JD and Turk, aka Zach Braff and Donald Faison, called ‘Fake Doctors, Real Friends’. Always makes me smile when I listen to it. Also, ‘Dear Hank and John’, which always helps me with any anxieties. And ‘How to Fail’ with Elizabeth Day. Arghh, I listen to so many, I could go on forever. 

  • Where’s the first place you'll fly after this? 

For the past few months I’ve been getting that intense hankering for my second home in Australia, so maybe there. Or more likely somewhere cheap in Europe. My pal Charlie and I were meant to go to Amsterdam in late March, so we’ll have to make up for lost time there. 

  • Would you rather self isolate with no sex toys or no wine? 

No wine, easy! I only drink spirits. 

And now… for the self care/sexual wellbeing Qs.

  • What personal quote / motto do you live by?

Don’t ask, don’t get. 

  • Which three beauty products can’t you live without (including a WooWoo one)

WooWoo lube changed the game for me and my partner! I also love LUSH’s Cup o’ Coffee, as everyone who follows me on Insta will know, and my Thursday Plantation acne gel. 

  • What advice would you give to your younger self?

Your body is amazing. Look after it, appreciate it, and don’t compare it to anyone else’s. 

  • What does sexual wellness mean to you?

Getting what you want, as much as you want, and being open and honest with what you want. 

  • How many times have you masturbated today?

2. (I am writing this at 12 noon, so that may change)

  • What's your favourite sex position?

The Speed Bump, AKA Lazy Bitch (named by the Come Curious ladies)... or sideways with a leg up on a shoulder. Basically, anything that makes it deep. 

  • What’s been your go-to healthy meal to make? 

I have been really missing my ludicrously expensive Pret and M&S salads, so I’ve started throwing together some quinoa, shaved carrot, spinach/kale, sweet potato falafels/chopped cherry tomatoes, hummus and tahini with pumpkin seeds sprinkled on top. Wanky, I know.

  • Which Emoji best describes you? 

The full moon face.  

And now, for some Would You Rathers… 

  • Would you rather have finger-sized nipples or nipple sized fingers?

This is a weird one… I guess bigger nipples wouldn’t be too bad!? 

WooWoo Arousal Boosting Bliss Oil

  • Would you rather not have sex for a year or have it every day of your life but not orgasm ever?

Would I still come when wanking? That’s the real question. I just like the sensation of sex sometimes and don’t always need to get mine there and then, because I can do that myself. But then, I’ll happily go a year without if it means I’ll come every time after that. Wow, I’m overthinking this. 

  • Would you rather have a bell go off every time you're horny or never get horny?

I’ll happily have a bell go off. Let the people know!!

  • Would you rather live without music or live without tv?

Arghhh, could I still have podcasts/radio at least? I’ll say TV, but honestly it could go either way. 

  • Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button in your life?

Rewind, definitely. I’d love to have the option to correct mistakes. Unless pause means I can pause everyone around me and do whatever I please, whether that’s pranking someone, running away or putting my feet up at work. 

  • Would you rather be able to speak to animals or every language in the world?

Every language in the world. Because surely that would include animal languages, no? Hehehehe. But think how much good you could do if you could communicate with humans from every part of the world? I could be a proper peacekeeper! Ughh, but then speaking to animals would mean I could help them more, and I am a bloody passionate vegan... okay, it's gotta be the latter. 

  • Would you rather have the same phone forever or the same haircut forever?

Same haircut. I could be a baldie my whole life, easy. 

  • Would you rather have eyebrows that never stop growing or eyelashes that never stop growing?

Oooohhhh, I feel like eyebrows won’t affect my vision or irritate me as much. 

  • Would you rather be a great dancer or a great singer?

Great dancer. One of my life ambitions is to be on Strictly Come Dancing. 

  • Would you rather wake up next to your ex or next to a hungry baby tiger?

I have so many questions about the logistics of this, but I’ll just say baby tiger. 


Thanks for sending me the Qs, WooWoo! This was fun. And to everyone who, like me, isn’t getting any during lockdown… I know the pain is real, but it’s worth staying safe, and just think of the amazing times we’ll have when we’re allowed out and about again!? *daydreams*


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